Our son wants to use our boat

wjamwhitis

Member
Nov 9, 2012
65
Lake Lemon, Unionville, Indiana
Boat Info
1987 268 Weekender
Engines
5.7 Mercruiser w/ alpha one drive
We let our son take his wife and two children out on our boat when we wasn't using it one day and now he wants to do this all the time. What would you fellow boat owners do?
 
Assuming he's competent and has a decent understanding of rules/reg's/etc...

I would let him use it any time he wants to. In fact, I would encourage him to use it. He's my son - I would get enjoyment out of knowing that he and his family is enjoying it and spending time together.
 
Depends on how responsible he is and what my insurance company has to say about it. Both of you could have extreme liability exposure.
 
The relationship between parent and child always intrigues me...I see such variation in people's behavior....I genuinely wonder why some people have children.

Because you've asked the question, can I turn it around and ask your true thoughts? Because, simply by asking the question, it seems you have some issues. What are they?
 
I just wanted to see what other boat owners were doing. The only thing that concerns me is its an older boat and when something breaks on it, we are left paying the bill, because the children can't afford it or they would have their own boat. And it kinda gets me that I am the only one to wax it, winterize it and do maintenance.
 
The relationship between parent and child always intrigues me...I see such variation in people's behavior....I genuinely wonder why some people have children.

Because you've asked the question, can I turn it around and ask your true thoughts? Because, simply by asking the question, it seems you have some issues. What are they?
I didn't have children, it's my stepson!
 
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Depends on competence in our family. They would probably not ask because they are only now starting to get back into boating after years of living off the water. They always had their own boats growing up on a lake, and I was the one who borrowed their boats.
 
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Years ago, when I was a little lad, my grand parents bought a boat. They where too old to use it. But the kids and the grand kids had a blast. We took care of it for them. Washed, waxed, did repairs, fill her up after each use, etc.

So a responsible son and his family, sure. But my brother -- no freaking way. :)
 
I didn't have children, it's my stepson!

Haha...that explains it....Joking aside, I understand there are issues and concerns and I think it's a good question to raise. It would be disappointing to me if they didn't make an effort to help with things...I guess if I was in this situation, depending on my financial position and theirs, I would make it clear that while I welcome them using it on occasion, you would appreciate them returning it to the dock in the same condition when it left - gas, clean, etc.... I think, fundamentally, like others have pointed out, it depends on the child. I would hope they were raised in a way that they would know what is proper. If not, then I guess more parenting is in order.

The question of liability is a big one and I respect peoples decision not to risk everything they have. I don't know the best way to mitigate it other than to just say you can't take the risk.
 
I have a daughter only - and while she knows how to operate the boat, she would never ask to take it out alone, just not her thing. She does drive our cars whenever she needs to - mainly when her car is in the shop, we will trade cars etc. She has become very particular about her car, keeping it clean, maintained - not necessarily doing the work, but making sure it gets done. Back to your son and the boat - if I had a son I would treat him like my father did me. I had complete unrestricted access to our boats and cars with only a couple of rules:

1. I had to learn how to operate and maintain them.
2. I was involved in the maintenance - I helped keep them clean, service etc.
3. If I broke something I fixed it - I hit a 2x4 with our Correct Craft - totally my fault, running too fast at night. I got to pick up the bill for the repair - Dad was always willing to work out a payment plan.
4. Basically the bottom line rule was take care of it like it is yours and leave it like you found it - clean, full of gas etc.

I was always very interested in cars and boats, so I took a quick interest in learning how to maintain them and really enjoyed it.

If I had a son he that was interested in the boat, I would treat him the same as my father did me. If he showed himself to be untrustworthy, then game over.
 
I too have no kids, I would let him use it if he put considerable sweat equity into its upkeep. If it broke while he was using it I would expect him to see that it got repaired even if I was paying the bill. I know several parents that let their kids use the boat or PWCs and let Dad deal with it as though they were just renters.
Skin in the game would be my prerequisite!
 
What would you fellow boat owners do?
Go with him.... My best days are when I am not driving... I can kick back and relax.

If your not there I would let him take it... I wouldn't get wound up in washing waxing it .. You are going to do it regardless ... If it brakes it was going to brake next time you took it out... Family is family... Immediate family ..anyone else would be a flat no
 
My son has taken the boat out with some of his friends.

I’m just happy to know that it’s getting used and he’s enjoying it.
 
Thanks everyone for your input. He's taking it out tomorrow while we are on vacation. We normally let our children use anything of ours but I wanted to see what fellow boat owners thought when it came to their babies. We let him know whatever they break, they will repair or replace. I just believe that everything has a set number of uses and if someone else uses them all up, then when I want to use my own boat, it won't work for me. If I wanted to buy him a boat, I would, but he is an adult and can provide for his own family when it comes to toys!
 
My dad let me take a 46’ Ocean when I was 16. Did it once, then he told me to fill it up. Never did it again. That being said, now that Im older if I cant pay to fix it I wont borrow it. I plan the same when loaning things to others. If I know they wont make it right, they can rent their own.
 
the big question : does the mother of your stepson support you and your concerns or just say " of course give it to him " and you do not want to angry her ?

if its an older boat which deserves careful use as well knowing its weak points to get some more seasons out of it i fully understand you its not your comfort zone to imagine how just beats the sh..t out of the engine while you wait for the call " hey dad , the motor blew " ...
 
I've got 3 adult sons, all of which were brought up the same way. One has no interest in boating, the middle son has an interest but also a respect of what skills are needed to operate the boat - skills he never took the time to develop. My youngest son has always had a love of boating and developed the skills/knowledge required to operate the boat. He'd still have a difficult time paying for damage or personal injury if something happened, but I doubt if it would be due to his gross negligence so I would call my insurance company for anything major. Unfortunately both latter two sons live on the other side of our country and don't get home too often. When they do, they want to get on the water (there's none where they live) and my youngest has even asked to take the boat out with friends. Each time I outline my expectations and that he text me when he leaves the dock and when he returns as well.

After taking the boat a couple of times, I think he decided it would be best to just have some friends come to the marina, drink on the boat at the dock, and enjoy the marina pool instead of taking it out for a cruise. Probably something about his friends bailing when he took the boat for refuelling...
 

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