I yelled at a guest - and what I am doing about it

spikedaddy99 said:
I heard a story this past weekend of a captain being boarded by the USCG. They told him to sit quiet while they asked the guests on board questions such as fire ex. locations, PFD locations etc. If the guests failed, the captain failed. SOOOO, it's OK to educate your guests. M
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Coast Guard “sailors” are a little funny. We joke about them having never navigated waters beyond 6 fathoms - but I have never heard of this. The captain or owner of the vessel is ultimately responsible for the location and condition of all safety equipment. If it is all present, serviceable, and correct for the vessel and passengers then the boarding report should be satisfactory. Perfectly fine and encouraged to brief your passengers on where all safety equipment is and how to use it. But they aren’t responsible for it - the captain is.
 
spikedaddy99 said:
I heard a story this past weekend of a captain being boarded by the USCG. They told him to sit quiet while they asked the guests on board questions such as fire ex. locations, PFD locations etc. If the guests failed, the captain failed. SOOOO, it's OK to educate your guests. M
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Similar here, but the key point was a guest was sitting in the driver seat when they pulled up. When the boat owner started to answer questions, the uscg told him to be quiet. The person in the helm seat needs to answer, which she could not. They left with a written warning but no fine.
 
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paulswagelock said:
Similar here, but the key point was a guest was sitting in the driver seat when they pulled up. When the boat owner started to answer questions, the uscg told him to be quiet. The person in the helm seat needs to answer, which she could not. They left with a written warning but no fine.
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Makes me wonder how long they would have interrogated my grandson.
 
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iBoat Skipper Doug said:
I made a mistake and yelled at a onboard guest.


I’m sharing what happened, and how I’m trying to learn from what happened so I can be a better skipper.


I welcome your critical or supportive review.


♦️The Background:


We had guests onboard our 24 foot cuddy cabin boat, a Mom, Dad, and two children, the youngest a toddler. They also own a boat, a old, small, aluminum fishing boat with outboard, but I don’t judge, a boats a boat.


It had already been a long, hot boating day, with much time spent in the sun at a shallow, sandy bottomed, popular anchorage. I was getting tired.


My frustration level became elevated due to guest actions. For example, the guest applied aloe sunburn spray inside my cabin, getting it all over my seats. They just saw me go onto my swim platform to do that to myself. Then the mother reached into her oversized purse, pulled out a box of blueberries, which her children were grabbing and dropping onto my seats and carpet. My request to put away the blueberries until they were off the boat so I do not get stains resulted in the mother rolling her eyes. Another example, while on plane I turned around to see the toddler without a life jacket. I asked what happened to the life jacket? The mother said her child was hot so she took it off. After having the guests not listen to me all day, I decide the safest thing to do was this; I came off plane, went to neutral and said I was sorry but state law requires I not make way unless children under 12 years old are wearing a life jacket. Tensions were rising.


♦️The Event:


We needed to get fuel as we passed a station. Its a poor setup with the dock on the river. The easy, upstream side of the fuel dock was taken, but the two of us had docked there many times. We got fenders and lines ready on the starboard side. My Admiral went on the bow to lasso a dock cleat.


Just the two of us have done this downstream docking with success many times. What we do is she gets the bow line attached to a dock cleat. Next, I reverse the boat with the drive turned toward the dock which pulls the stern tight to the dock, put boat in neutral, then quickly get the stern line on the dock cleat. Its that simple.


This day, with the guests onboard, as my Admiral was on the bow securing the bow line to a dock cleat, the Dad stood up, went to the starboard aft corner and stood by the stern line and cleat. I thought to myself, I have a second helper, a experienced boater. How awesome.


With the bow line attached to the dock cleat, and the boats stern being pulled way from the dock by the wind and current, I turned the wheel to full starboard and reversed the engine, just like I had planned. This pulled the stern back to the dock, just like always.


The guests back was to me. His hands went up and in front of him. Certainly he’s putting the stern line on the dock cleat. But wait, the stern is floating back away from the dock. Oh,... he must have missed getting the line onto the dock cleat. No worries, I repeat the process of reversing, pulling the boats stern snugly against the dock. His hands go up, just like last time. But again, the stern starts floating way from the dock.


After the third attempt, the guest turns slightly toward me. Now I can see his hands are not trying to get the line on the dock cleat. Shoot, he doesn’t even have his hands on the dock line. He has his fingers in his mouth picking out blueberry skins from his teeth! He’s blocking me from getting to the stern line and completely clueless about what is happening.


Thats when I loose it. I yell “Get the F***ing line on the F***ing dock cleat or get the F*** out of the way so I can do it!


Now knowing what he needed to do, he immediately and easily put the line on the cleat.


♦️The Lesson:


I regretted loosing my temper as soon as the sentence was out of my mouth. I never verbalized to the guest my expectations, so the guest never acknowledged their understanding of what they needed to do.


I have apologized to the guests. It was my fault. Although there were no injuries beyond feelings, it could have been worse.


Now, my goal is to learn from my mistake. After doing some research, I think I know how.


I came across a story of a airplane disaster, the deadliest plane disaster in history. Thats where I learned about a process to improve teamwork and reduce mistakes called Crew Resource Managment or CRM.


Thats my new passion for improving my seamanship. I want to be a better skipper. A safer skipper. A skipper who does not loose his temper and yell.


Below is a video about the basic concepts of CRM and a sheet I made for myself to start my journey to becoming a better skipper through utilizing CRM.


Although the video focuses on ambulance E.M.T.s, the concepts are the same for airplane pilots, operating rooms, and yes, recreational boaters. Basically any place prone to miscommunications resulting in safety concerns.


♦️Again, I welcome your critical or supportive review.

♦️What are your thoughts?

♦️Do you feel CRM could make you a better skipper?

♦️Are you experienced in CRM?

♦️In my below self-made beginners CRM guide, what would you change?


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iBoat Skipper Doug said:
Well, the Sand Bar Bash is a long way from Hayward.

Its on Lake Butte des Morts, just West of Oshkosh, Wisconsin.

I was one of two drone videographers capturing content for the event last year.

I cringe sharing this video. The other drone videographer was deployed in the military overseas and did not know the FAA rules had changed to not allow flying directly over people. Then the event organizer saw the footage and thought it was cool, so if you are a responsible drone operator, lots of illegal flying in this video.

Sadly, the other drone operator was killed shortly after this event. He was riding his motorcycle and hit by a car. Because of that tragic event, I have decide to share his last drone content.

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Looks like a good time but that would be quite a haul. I don’t like crowds anyway.
 
I treat all guests the same on my boat. Like a flight attendant I don’t care how many times you’ve flown you will hear the safety lesson over and over again.... I go over the same safety rules , location of safety equipment including channel 16 on the VHF food and drink items that are not allowed on the boat, are discussed the day before they even show up . You have to remember that everybody envies us for having these boats and the lifestyle but they have no idea what it entails to manage a day on the water so you have to expect that they have no idea what to do. it takes a lot of preparation and forethought to plan out a day successfully for everybody to have a good time...safely . I took my cousin his wife and his two young children (four and 1 1/2-year-old) out yesterday for a day on the water which entailed a boat ride and then docking at one of our favorite spots in Jones Beach State Park with a forecast of 95° the biggest concern was keeping the young ones cool . swimming off the boat was not an option for these two little ones and walking down to the beach area it’s quite a distance and figured they would get tuckered out after one or two trips to the end of the dock where the beach is . last minute planning in the morning got me in touch with a dock neighbor who had a kiddy pool that we borrowed .when we got to our destination we filled up the pool on the dock and it kept the kids cool and occupied . The adults were able to relax ,chat and have a beverage. It turned out to be a great day. Had I not thought ahead and borrowed that kiddy pool it might’ve turned out to be a different day. A five minute conversation when everybody gets on the boat set a good tone for the day, it gives them the directions and expectation that they are looking for. The guests that don’t respect those rules and expectations are not invited back.
 
blaster said:
Red wine
.
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I was with you up to Red wine.... The boat wouldn’t exist if we didn’t drink red wine in glass glasses....
My wife has club soda strategically placed like fire extinguishers around the boat just in case one of us screws up.... 20 years and never had a stain....had the odd One or two small spills but nothing permanent..
 
Blueone said:
I was with you up to Red wine.... The boat wouldn’t exist if we didn’t drink red wine in glass glasses....
My wife has club soda strategically placed like fire extinguishers around the boat just in case one of us screws up.... 20 years and never had a stain....had the odd One or two small spills but nothing permanent..
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That makes sense in an experienced adult boater situation but not with a guest.

one caveat to the carrying of red wine aboard is for marinading beef. No spilling though! Captains call.
 
Most bad situations arise out of unspoken expectations.

I think it's best to always have a briefing where expectations are made clear, up front.

1) Do not "help" unless specifically asked to do so
2) There is only room on this boat for one ego.
3) Do not mistake any of my requests as requests.
4) If I cook, you clean.
5) If I don't cook, you clean.
 
I remember years ago, when I was a kid. Grandparents lived in Fla. and got a boat -- big 29 footer. We would go down on vacation and use it. After each run, I was the kid who stayed back and washed all the salt off it. They others when on their merry way. I am still washing boats to this day. :)
 
bobeast said:
Most bad situations arise out of unspoken expectations.

I think it's best to always have a briefing where expectations are made clear, up front.

1) Do not "help" unless specifically asked to do so
2) There is only room on this boat for one ego.
3) Do not mistake any of my requests as requests.
4) If I cook, you clean.
5) If I don't cook, you clean.
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I like number 3.
 
On of the worst things to allow on a boat are those single serve drink flavor crystal tube things. People use them to flavor water bottles. The dye in them is very concentrated and opening it and pouring it into a water bottle top is going to spill some of the powder. You may not notice the dust spills on the carpet or seats, until some water splashes on it. Then it stains worse than red wine.
 
I would look at it at just part of your personal training of owing a boat and what to do and not do when you have guest on board.
Lesson learned for you and your wife.

I am like the others.
I dont want or expect any guest to do anything while on the boat other than not be pain in the ass. I will always tell any guest what not to bring and what I supply while they are on the boat either for a day trip or overnighting and I do this before the day of the trip. I will always tell any " non" boating guest what not to bring in regards to things that stain a boat. We also talk to guest as to what they like to eat and drink and let then know we will have that for them on board. That way we control the food and drink.

When it comes to docking , fueling, pumping out I will always tell any guest I only need help if I ask them for it and I just ask that they listen to me and if they have a thought or question ask it.

I will tell all guest where to sit at docking times or what I need them to do!

I feel as a boater for 40 years it is my pleasure to explain the in- outs of owing- running- maintaining- safety of a boat.

Your the captain and they are the crew. You run the boat and most are wanting to be helpful and are looking for your guidance. If you dont tell them what to do and how to do it. They will try and just help in there own way... its not wrong of them to do that it is just usually the wrong way from how you do it.
As the captain it is also your responsibility to show your guest the best time ever on a boat and why boaters love boating.

Before leaving the dock I give a run down on safety, where the PDS, fire extinguishers, first aid kit, and how to operate the marine radio and how to pin point the location of the boat on the map and what not to flush down the head. I have all the PDFS even for small kids and I tell them when to have them on and when they can be taken off.

Just remember you where a non boater at one time and you most likely did some stupid shit along the way.

One other thing I do when guest arrive I take a real close look at what they are putting on the boat and if I see something that doesn't fit in with how I run the boat I politely point out why and we leave what ever it is at the dock.

Jim
 
I created a waver form of all guests. I send it by email before they get to boat with note read and sign before you come. I did it based on all is well until some one gets hurt. I know my insurance cover them; but the waver form comes with boat information on does and don'ts. It also includes boat safety. The intent is to get people aware that boating can be dangerous and it is not hotel that they can do as they want. Reaction is mixed.
 
northern said:
I created a waver form of all guests. I send it by email before they get to boat with note read and sign before you come. I did it based on all is well until some one gets hurt. I know my insurance cover them; but the waver form comes with boat information on does and don'ts. It also includes boat safety. The intent is to get people aware that boating can be dangerous and it is not hotel that they can do as they want. Reaction is mixed.
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That would kind of turn me off. Going out with friends is supposed to be fun, not a commercial exercise.
 
Golfman25 said:
That would kind of turn me off. Going out with friends is supposed to be fun, not a commercial exercise.
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We also have place in Panama. People think of it as free hotel that was the first waver I did. It slowed the visitors and got them to buy their own groceries and pay for their restaurant meals. On the boat it got to the point we were subsidizing family vacations of people we did not know that well. May not be nice; but those that paid for a real half and knew about boating we do not bother with the waver those that show up with two bottle of wine and expect to be fed, entertained and cruise where they want we get to sign along with detail of how costs will be shared. We estimate the cost up front and ask for etransfer of funds with note; if any is left over they will get refund.
 
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