Have some fun on April fools day

Creekwood

Well-Known Member
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Apr 26, 2009
5,807
Oakville and Georgian Bay, Ontario
Boat Info
'97 330 Sundancer, Raymarine C80 suite with radar, Mercury 310 Hypalon w/8hp Yammie 2stk
Engines
2X 454 carbs w/ vDrives
For those of you that own or run a business. Have some fun with this memo to your employees. Let me know how it goes.


STAFF MEMO


To All Employees Date April 1, 2021

From Management

Efficiency Improvements are coming!

As you are aware, environmental sustainability and efficiency is important for all of us. As owners of a business it is important that we be as environmentally responsible as possible while always improving overall efficiency.

Over the past several months we have been working on ways to improve performance in many areas, including internal facilities usage. We have analyzed the data from observation, time and motion studies and supplies consumption information to find significant efficiency opportunities.

We found that there is significant waste resulting from restroom inefficiencies. In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restrooms as needed, resulting in restroom capacity constraints and high usage of restroom supplies.

Effective April 1, 2021, we are launching improvements to facilities and that will benefit all of us. We are taking advantage of amazing technologies that are now available at a reasonable cost from Google Office Systems.

Voice Recognition Technology

Over the next two months, the entrance to the restroom will be equipped with a personnel voice identification station with voice recognition linked to a new Restroom Trip Account (“RTA”) app system.

In preparation for the use of voice recognition, we will deploy a software app to your mobile devices, which will request 2 recordings of each employee’s voice:

• A recording of your normal speaking voice, and

• A recording of your voice under stress.

From April 1, 2021 through the end of April, the use of the voice recognition outside the restroom will be optional. However, it is recommended that each staff member acquaint yourselves with the new process during this period before the full roll-out.

Beginning May 1, 2021, the system will require that each staff member use the Voice Recognition Stations in order for the restroom door to unlock to allow entry.

The system will then track Restroom usage through your personal Restroom Trip Account.

Restroom Trip Account (“RTA”)

On the first day of each month, an employee will be granted forty five (45) “Restroom Trip Credits” in your RTA. The 45 credits per month rate has been determined to be the expected usage by an average employee in a month.

If your RTA should reach zero before the end of the month, the door to the restroom will not unlock in response to your voice until the beginning of the next month.

However, the system will recognize voices under stress and will allow emergency access, drawing on the following month’s credits.

Unused RTA credits will not carry over to following months and cannot be transferred among staff.

Additional RTA credits will be available for those with special needs, and can be requested through an on‐line form on the mySpecialNeeds web site.

Advanced Restroom Technology

We are installing exciting new technology inside our restroom! Around May 1, 2021, the restroom will be equipped with state of the art technology designed to reduce wasted supplies and inefficient use of facilities.

New toilet tissue dispensers will be programmed to supply predetermined amounts of tissue based on average expected usage, which will be monitored on an individual by individual basis.

Requests for allocations of tissue above the predetermined average can be made on the mySpecialNeeds portal and requests can be renewed from month to month on a case by case basis.

Emergency extra tissue requirements while in the restroom can be addressed through the mySpecialNeeds app which is available for both IOS and Android devices. The app is WIFI connected to the tissue dispensers and will allow additional tissue once the request is approved, normally within a few minutes.

In order to ensure that the restroom is available for all on an equal basis, the restroom door will be equipped with a usage timer.

If the restroom has been occupied for more than four minutes, the usage timer will sound a subtle alarm and a blue LED light above the door will begin to flash with increasing frequency.

Sixty seconds after the initial alarm, the tissue dispenser will retract into the wall, the toilet will flush, and the door will open automatically, allowing the next person to use the room.

We trust that these improvements will help you all make more efficient use of our facilities, reduce waste, and demonstrate our commitment to effective use of technology to help save the environment.

Warmest regards

Management
 
I'm the only employee of my business so there's no one to pull tricks on :mad:
 
I like it!
 

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