Joke Thread.. post 'em if you got 'em

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Nater Potater said:
Yep; old guys that have been there, done that.
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I had a ritual where every spring I would stand at the end of my finger dock, say a few words to the Gods of the Seas and ask their blessing on my boating season. Then I would toss a handful of old tools into the water as my offering to them.

Seemed to work.
 
Gofirstclass said:
I had a ritual where every spring I would stand at the end of my finger dock, say a few words to the Gods of the Seas and ask their blessing on my boating season. Then I would toss a handful of old tools into the water as my offering to them.

Seemed to work.
Click to expand...
Seriously, that made me laugh out loud! The cost of a few tools would certainly be worth all the trouble that that could save.
 
A businesswoman was about to board her bus, and when she started to step onto the bus she realized her skirt was too tight for her to lift her leg high enough. She quickly reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little. Trying again she realized her skirt was still too tight. She reached back again and unzipped a little more. Same result. In a panic she unzipped a third time, but to no avail. As she was reaching back again a pair of strong hands picked her up by the waist and deposited her on the top step of the bus. Whirling around she confronted a burly man behind her.
"How dare you put your hands on me! What do you think you're doing?"
"Well, ma'am," The man replied with a grin, "You already unzipped my fly three times so I figured we were friends."
 
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