Guy gets hired as a salesman at a huge big box store...
....the type of store that sells everything.
At the end of the first month he is top salesperson, and the boss calls him in for a chat.
"You're amazing" says his grateful boss, "your first month on the job and you're top salesperson...
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a motorcycle when he spotted a well known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?"
Optimus Prime is at home, watching TV, when his power goes out.
Frustrated, he calls the electrical company, and they have someone sent over. As he goes to ask the lineman what's going on, he notices that his jaw won't move, so he goes to get some motor oil to lubricate his jaws.
A man is driving down the motor way in the fast lane with a trailer full of monkeys
he notices his friends jeep in the adjacent lane. He slows down and ushers his friend to pull down the window.
"John I'm in a massive rush, if I give you $50 could you bring these monkeys to the zoo?"
A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona...
...and sees that the car's oil-pressure light is on.He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around...
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, He
said I was doing fairly well for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think >I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or...
The corporal at the Motor Pool received a call one day demanding the delivery of a Jeep.
"Sorry, man", said the Corporal, "the last Jeep went out yesterday to Sgt. Fat-Ass McGinty."
The voice on the phone said, "Do you know who this is?"
"No, man," said the Corporal.
"This is Sgt. McGinty!"...
Joke thread for crying out loud
An 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl.
After a year she gave birth in a hospital. The nurse congratulated the fellow. "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running."
The following year she gave...
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but dad’s end up playing with them.