Big decision made today

Carpediem44DB

Carpediem44DB

Well-Known Member
Aug 18, 2015
3,230
Sanfransico Bay area
Boat Info
2000 Carver 506
2006 44 DB Sedan Bridge
Engines
Volvo TAMD 74 P
After a couple of weeks of turmoil in my marriage, we finally sat down and had a break through in the area of communication. We got to the root cause of problem and decided that it all pointed to the boat. We spend almost every weekend on it and told ourselves and each other that we really enjoy it. After really talking about it we both came to the conclusion that we were saying we liked it for the benefit of the other. We budget $3000 a month to basically go sit at the dock. We don't take it out much because this boat really intimidates my wife and she just does not enjoy herself when under weigh. It is funny because she really did spearhead moving up from the 44 mainly because of the size of the staterooms. Anyway, we decided to go ahead and sell and get out of boating and go back to RVing instead. We enjoyed the boating for the last thirty years but we have gone everywhere that we would take this boat. I advertised it several weeks ago and got an offer with in 3 days. At the time we were still on the fence so did not accept it, but the buyers understood the position. I reached out today and expect to make a deal. We went to an RV show today and are pretty sure we know what we want. I will still hang around like a few other EX Sea Ray owners because you guys are just enjoyable to follow.
If we miss boating enough then we will jump back in at some point.
Cheers
 
When you posted about your struggling marriage, I was sad for you, even though we've never met.
I'm glad you guys seem to have found the root cause, and hope this makes a difference.
I do hope you stick around.
 
Best wishes Rusty! Please stick around as I always enjoy what you bring to the forum. At 66, I am not quite ready yet, but my years are numbered. Crawling around the bilge, pulling wire, and just the shear work of owning a boat this size is not getting any easier. The only reason I don’t retire is because I am afraid I might get old!

I think we both miss the 44DBs, and we gave them up for our other halfs….mine still loves the DA so we will hang in for a while.

Stay in touch!
Bennett
 
Isn't it "funny" how we do things we don't like if only to keep harmony in a relationship, only to find our other half was doing the same for us? I'm sure glad you were able to discover that before your marriage was completely destroyed. We were on the fence between a diesel pusher or a boat, but decided on the boat because we both so love the north Idaho lakes where we hope to retire soon. We had the pleasure of the use of an older 40' Alfa See Ya some years ago. I'd be surprised if we didn't go back to something like that in the near future and start cruising the states. There's a lot of country we've never seen.
Like you, even if we find ourselves boatless, I plan on sticking around here, if for no other reason than learning more about plywood on the bow.
 
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I hate to see people get out of boating. But I get it. We have no desire to go to the boat every weekend. So we didn't over extend ourselves. I never wanted to feel like we are paying for it, so we have to go. If we go, great, and we'll enjoy it. If it's only me and the dog to do some project or just chill, while she shops, that's good too. If neither want to go, then no loss. Hey, an RV is just a land yacht anyway. :) Good luck.
 
I could have written that OP a couple of years ago and the issues caused by owning Beachcomber, along with our health issues that caused poor balance brought us to the decision to sell the boat.

So we did, and bought a 35' Class A Monaco diesel pusher. My wife is a nervous passenger in a car and the RV just simply scared her. On our first trip into southern OR we were on our way back when a HUGE dust devil hit us broadside on the stbd side and pushed us across the center line of the road. Had there been any oncoming traffic we would have been in a head-on collision and people would have died.

So we sold the RV and now we're riding around in an SUV. She's still nervous, but not so much.

Good luck with your venture into an RV.
 
Carpediem44DB said:
Yes class A diesel pusher. Looking at Tiffin Allegra Bus in the 40 foot range or Thor Tuscany. Love the size and amenities.
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Rusty go with the Tiffin or a Dutch Star not the Thor Tuscany. I have already been down this road and had a 40ft Pusher.
Wish you all the best
 
One door closes and...well you know the rest. Best of luck on the next adventure, but please do stick around, if for no other reason than to allow us to gloat over the fine boating you are missing out on.
 
We've made it through almost 48 years of marriage through communication and being best friends. I am the one that has spearheaded the hobbies over the years and we've changed directions many times. Golf, cars, boating and almost RV'ing. We did those things together and when one got burned out with the hobby, we switched.
As far as coaches, after the last couple of boats the OP has had, 40 footer coach is gonna be smallish. We almost bought an Entegra 44' Cornerstone. Now, if we did look, it would be a used Prevost/Marathon, Newell, Newmar or Entegra.

These guys always have some nice top end coaches.

https://www.themotorcoachstore.com/?y_source=1_MzA5MjM2MTctNzE1LWxvY2F0aW9uLndlYnNpdGU=
 
I’m keeping the Achilles 350 for a while anyway. If I don’t find that I use it I’ll sell it down the road. I don’t fish so really doubt it will be worth the hassle of towing behind a 40 foot coach. Meeting with buyers today to pen a deal.
 
NorCalRobert said:
Rusty go with the Tiffin or a Dutch Star not the Thor Tuscany. I have already been down this road and had a 40ft Pusher.
Wish you all the best
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Thanks, we actually culled out the Thor, Kathy wants the Tiffin Allegro Buss 40XSP. She is hung up on hand laid tile in the shower stalls as opposed to the fiberglass shower enclosures. I point out that the boat has fiberglass showers and they don’t seem cheap but I am talking to a woman after all. In looking at these coaches it’s funny how little more you get for each $100,000 step up in trim package. It will be fun looking for the right one. May be going deep though and buying new. Thanks for the kind words of support guys.
 
Having been through two divorces myself I felt sad as well when I read your recent post about your marriage. And we too are having that boat anxiety as a couple. Mostly my fault because I have high expectation of her when it comes to the boat and I need to back them down. Recently I've started doing everything around docking and moving the boat, which is helping.

My advice to you is maybe take a pause when you sell the boat and don't rush into a RV. My other advice is to read a good book together as a couple called Hold Me Tight.

Good luck!
 
mrsrobinson said:
My advice to you is maybe take a pause when you sell the boat and don't rush into a RV. My other advice is to read a good book together as a couple called Hold Me Tight.
Click to expand...
Yeah I will not be in a big rush to go out and buy an RV. I really want to have the boat deal closed and then wait for season end deals to start coming on the market. Also if for some reason we end up realizing that an RV is not the panacea to save the relationship then the fewer assets to unwind the better. I am trying to live up to my old Boy Scouts slogan "Be Prepared":cool:
 
Hate to say it Carp, but I think you did what too many do. 2 footitis. Got to keep getting bigger until it becomes so unwieldy and costly and a major pita to keep up with maintenance. An RV might be nice, then it will be, we need a bigger RV.
All you do is hang at marina now, trading that for hanging at campgrounds. Nothing will change but the scenery.
It’s not the boat that’s the problem, it’s the size of the boat. I am next to a marina with a lot of very large SR. What they have in common? They never move out of slip, all summer. The closest they come to water is the marina swimming pool. You liked boating at one time, before you flush it, maybe think about it.
But good luck in new endeavor.
 
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