Joke Thread.. post 'em if you got 'em

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WHY ITALIANS CAN'T BE PARAMEDICS

Vinny and Sal are out in the woods hunting when suddenly Sal grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.

Vinny whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, 'I think Sal is dead! What should I do?'

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, 'Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead.'

There is a silence. And then a gun shot is heard.

Vinny's voice comes back on the line, 'Okay... Now what?
 
A pair of hunters went moose hunting and chartered a small plane to carry them.
At the end of the day, they had bagged six moose and were about to load them in the plane.

The pilot disagreed with them, saying the plane could only take four safely.

The hunters argued, saying that last year, the pilot had allowed them to carry all six onboard on the same plane.

Rectuantly, the pilot agreed to have all six loaded. Unfortunately on take off the plane couldn't gain altitude and crashed.

Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter turned to the other and asked, "Do you remember this place"?

"Yeah", replied the other. "This is the same place where we crashed last year".
 
see ray said:
View attachment 139881 View attachment 139882 View attachment 139883
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this happened to us on our last vacation to Michigan. We were there for 11 days and I was only able to go out on the big lake for a few hours one day. That is one of the reasons why we go to Muskegon state park. I can put in at Muskegon lake and hang out there or go out on to the big lake through the channel.

we will be arriving July 31 this year.

After we left, Lake Michigan calmed down. How do I know, I watch this camera all the time. My boat is in this picture.
https://www.glerl.noaa.gov/metdata/mkg/CDB549AA-15B0-4782-8784-D729C4AD73ED.png
 
A rabbi, a Hindu priest, and a politician went on a hike...
Night fell and they were exhausted. The hotel on the map was nowhere to be seen.
They knocked on the door of a farm and asked if they could spend the night.
The farmer said, “Of course, but I only have a small room with two beds. One of you will have to sleep in the barn.”
The Hindu priest said, “I need no material comforts. I will gladly take the barn.”
The rabbi and the politician were settling in when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the Hindu priest standing there.
“So sorry, my friends, but there is a cow in the barn, and I cannot sleep beside such a holy animal.”
The rabbi said, “No problem, my brother. I’ll take the barn.
The Hindu priest and the politician were settling in when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the rabbi standing there.
“So sorry, my friends, but there’s a pig in the barn, and I can’t sleep beside such a filthy animal.”
The politician said, “OK, let it be remembered that I sacrificed my comfort for the greater good.”
The rabbi and the Hindu priest were settling in when they heard a knock on the door. They opened it to find the pig and the cow standing there.
 
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