After her fourth face-lift, a woman went for her follow up visit.
The doctor asked how she was doing, was she happy with the results, etc.
"Everything seems great! However, I have noticed a new mole just below my lip. Can you tell me what happened?"
The plastic surgeon looked, and said "Ma'am...
My friends all say that a laundromat is a great place to meet women. I disagree. If she can't afford her own washer and dryer there's no way she'll be able to support my drug habit.
The three most important questions a man can ask when on a date in 2023:
#1. Are you a woman?
#2. Have you always been a woman?
If the answer to #1 or #2 is no, then proceed to
#3. Can you keep a secret?
Never a bad idea, but if you have a tank electric water heater, kill the breaker to that also. If you happen to have a leak with the supply turned off and it ends up draining the water heater (rare, but I've seen it), it will burn up the heating elements.
I bought a new deodorant stick the other day. The instructions read "Remove cap and push up bottom".
I can barely walk, but every time I fart it smells like Right Guard.
I haven't been airborne in any manner since 1984. At that time you could smoke cigarettes in the plane. No real reason for not doing it, just no need nor desire. Weird.