I yelled at a guest - and what I am doing about it

Can't win, having friends onboard the boat is what makes the times enjoyable yet I know I will be frustrated the entire time. It's just how I am so I deal with it. Sure letting them eat cheetos is no big deal but the stain left behind lasts a lifetime. They had a blast drinking gatorade and eating cheetos I am I left with the stain that will never go away. Yet I am the ***k who is too uptight about everything. Having the nicest and well kept boat is not easy. Takes rules and being a little OCD.
 
iBoat Skipper Doug said:
Thank you everyone. You have me feeling like less of a ars.
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Naw, Doug, you apparently misread some of the comments--you're still an ars in flying colors.

Just kidding. I think we've all lost it a time or two when things didn't go as expected so I'll forgive you if you forgive me.

My latest nasty comment to a guest was when we were coming back upriver on one engine after blowing out a fitting in the port engine. We were entering a lock and the guy who volunteered to handle the line to tie us up has boated with me before. So as I'm trying to get the boat up close to the wall so he can toss a line over the bollard I'm watching him. He fumbles the line on three tries and I let out a loud F**K with about as much disgust as I could muster at the time. .

I think he got the message because after I'd backed the boat up about 30 yards to take another shot at the bollard he got it right.

I didn't say anything more about it but the 3rd crew member nicknamed him Cowboy Jim for his ability to lasso things.

When we're backing into the slip and have guests on board I kindly invite them all to come up to the fly bridge so they "see better." Then I ask them to please take a seat so I can see. If they offer to help with the lines I simply say that my wife and I have this down pat and they would just mess up her routine. If they don't take a seat right away I will personally invite them again (with moderate disgust) to please sit so I can see where I'm going. That usually does two things--they immediately take a seat and also immediately go on the "NEVER INVITE AGAIN" list.
 
Unless my guests are experienced boaters and have been out multiple times receiving good crew training, I Always ask them to NOT HELP unless specifically called upon to do a specific task. As a general rule I don’t have kids on my boat ever! I did not make kids myself and I won’t be put in a position of having to worry about them on my boat.
I love the fact that others have and love their kids. Let them buy a boat and I’ll go along and help:)
 
The blueberries, life jacket and suntan lotion would have shown me to take them back to the dock right away. No gas dock where they could have screwed up again.

Next lesson would be to NEVER take them in my boat again.

Obviously, not trained, uncaring and oblivious to being respectful to others.
 
Carpediem44DB said:
Unless my guests are experienced boaters and have been out multiple times receiving good crew training, I Always ask them to NOT HELP unless specifically called upon to do a specific task. As a general rule I don’t have kids on my boat ever! I did not make kids myself and I won’t be put in a position of having to worry about them on my boat.
I love the fact that others have and love their kids. Let them buy a boat and I’ll go along and help:)
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My boys 13 and 15 are the best deck hands I could ask for. And when my boys friends come out on the boat they are more helpful and respectful than any adults that ever come on the boat.
 
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Maggieiscrazy said:
My boys 13 and 15 are the best deck hands I could ask for. And when my boys friends come out on the boat they are more helpful and respectful than any adults that ever come on the boat.
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Thank you.

Where in Northern Wisconsin are you?

This coming Saturday August 1st is the Sand Bar Bash. Are you going?
 
CRM is great, though remember the first operative word is “Crew”. That means that people working with you need to be experienced and have spent some time working with you. When my guests ask what they can do to help, I politely tell them that they can help pack up when getting ready to pull anchor or help clean up after we are back at the dock. Aside from that, their only job is to have a good time. We control a lot of the variables such as foods, drinks, sunscreen and where they can be consumed to avoid spills.

When we would do family day cruises and tiger cruises when I was in the Navy, you would get myriads of people wanting to learn and be helpful. However, getting a ship that displaces 9000 tons underway and back pier side safely isn’t something you learn in a 15 minute brief. People can be pulled through a chock and dismembered, a parted line will cut through people, and the list goes on. The same holds true for our boats, albeit on a somewhat smaller scale. It’s still dangerous operating our boats and as skippers we should do our best to mitigate as much risk as possible. I’d definitely recommend using CRM - but use it with your usual crew and not your guests. It is safer and far more efficient for your operation.

Lastly, I understand your frustration and you’ve beat yourself up pretty sufficiently over it. There have been lots of great points made already, and the best thing I think I can add in terms of handling guests is to clearly set expectations - especially when family is involved. In the end you’ll come up with a system that works for you and good on you for having the courage and humility to ask for input!
 
i only boat with good friends where problems like blueberries trampled on the carpet simply do not develop . beyond that i do not expect a guest will be any help in handling the boat , i have to be able to do it by myself .

my advice :

next time leave daddy at the pier and take only mommy onboard . when she goes down the cabin with sunburn realize she wants you to cream her . when she takes out the blueberries offer her something else to suck ;-)
 
Maggieiscrazy said:
I have a place near Hayward. Where is the sandbar bash?
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Well, the Sand Bar Bash is a long way from Hayward.

Its on Lake Butte des Morts, just West of Oshkosh, Wisconsin.

I was one of two drone videographers capturing content for the event last year.

I cringe sharing this video. The other drone videographer was deployed in the military overseas and did not know the FAA rules had changed to not allow flying directly over people. Then the event organizer saw the footage and thought it was cool, so if you are a responsible drone operator, lots of illegal flying in this video.

Sadly, the other drone operator was killed shortly after this event. He was riding his motorcycle and hit by a car. Because of that tragic event, I have decide to share his last drone content.

 
One superintendent once told me if you assume workers know 10% of what you know you will never be disappointed. This advice was given to me when a new person did things I was not expecting. Training is key and detail explanation of what is required to all on the boat.
On a recent river trip my new bow paddler was OK but not experienced. In a river moving about 5 MPH he landed us on a large rock. If you try to push off you flip. Detail explanation got us off. People listen when told what to do. If you expect them to know they do not. Also people need to be physically fit to boat. We have the 10 sit up rule. If you can not do 10 you can not boat with us.
 
This reminded me of a story that happened two weeks ago. My friend's son & daughter, one of their friends, and a cousin of theirs was on board. The two girls were respectful and ate on the swim platform. The two boys ate in the cockpit. They are 10 years old. I come back from the water and the boys had just eaten lunchables and left their trash, pizza sauce, and cheese all over the seats while they were suiting up to go back in the water. I asked them what they were doing? Do you think you could clean up your mess, I asked? The cousin looked at me perplexed. I said to him, yes you made a mess, you clean it up. And then I looked on the floor and there was cheese all over it that he had proceeded to mash into my sea deck without realizing. I said when we get back to the dock, he and my friend's son can take turns with the brush and clean it all up. Yessir they said. We get to the dock at the end of the day and the two boys are half way down the dock before I realize they still didn't clean up the boat. I yelled to the cousin to grab the brush. Literally his jaw dropped. Me he says? Yes, you! Get you butt in here. I'm not your slave. You guys made a mess, you clean it up! I said I'll hose it off, you guys brush. Yessir. The father was shaking his head in disbelief. My wife was telling me to stop being too hard on them. I told her I just did the best thing for those kids! They cleaned it up!
 
fwebster said:
On my boat (as opposed to other boats we may be running) my wife goes to the bow and handles one bow line and the rear spring line on the same side so she isn't running around like a mad woman on a bouncing boat. I handle both stern lines. But before we even pivot the boat in front of the slip, I tell any guests aboard to sit "here" and I point at the seats I expect them to sit in and tell them: "We do this all the time and we can handle the lines and the boat so please stay seated until I turn off the engines." I never buy fuel with guests onboard because I don't want my guests to feel obligated to "chip-in".

Before they board I have a little safety meeting (Fran calls it Frank's sanity preservation meeting)......items covered:

location of personal flotation devices
location of throwable PFD's
absolutely no red wine or any flavor of Koolaid allowed
NO Cheetos allowed on the boat
I take up all sunscreen and show them a box full of non-scented/oil free sunscreen they can use in SPF 30, SPF 50; they use my sunscreen or none at all.

We try to make it a fun day for guests and keep the rules simple and basic.
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Do the oil free unscented sunscreens prevent the orange gel coat stains? If not do any sunscreens not stain?
 
We insist on white cream sunscreen that is unscented and have no problems with staining.......a few p.o. Kids who seem to prefer coconut scented oil varieties that are tinted orange, but my vinyl seats remain pristine.
 
I heard a story this past weekend of a captain being boarded by the USCG. They told him to sit quiet while they asked the guests on board questions such as fire ex. locations, PFD locations etc. If the guests failed, the captain failed. SOOOO, it's OK to educate your guests. M
 
Cap'n Scuba Steve said:
CRM...operative word is “Crew”...people working with you need to be experienced and have spent some time working with you.
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Wow, great words of wisdom Cap’n Scuba Steve.

I’m also a PADI Scuba diver, from back in the day when we knew why a J valve was called a J valve and why a K valve was called a K valve. They were the part numbers in Jacques Cousteau parts book, no other reason.

Did I pass the friends test?

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spikedaddy99 said:
I heard a story this past weekend of a captain being boarded by the USCG. They told him to sit quiet while they asked the guests on board questions such as fire ex. locations, PFD locations etc. If the guests failed, the captain failed. SOOOO, it's OK to educate your guests. M
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WOW! Umm,.... WOW!

Suppose a infant was onboard. Or a person of special needs. Or a person with dementia. If this story is true, the local law enforcement may have been having fun with a hoax or they had misinterpreted the very laws they took a oath to uphold.

Beyond life preserver, this seems incorrect.
 
iBoat Skipper Doug said:
I’m also a PADI Scuba diver, from back in the day when we knew why a J valve was called a J valve and why a K valve was called a K valve. They were the part numbers in Jacques Cousteau parts book, no other reason.

Did I pass the friends test?

View attachment 89182 View attachment 89181
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Always preferred PADI divers myself!

And you passed! Whole point of the question is the fact that the STBD running light is green! It’s amazing how many people get that wrong when knowing it is so vitally important.
 
I prefer to go out alone. Everything is on me and I’m okay with that. Help just slows me down and is an annoyance.

no go foods on the boat:
Bananas
Cherries
Berries
Beets(don’t ask)
Cake that is frosted
RAINBOW SPRINKLES (try getting those out)
Red wine
Fruit drinks (Hugs, cool aid, Hawaiian Punch)
Cosmetics (why,just why?)
Anything else that will stain and otherwise make a mess.

I go boating to get away from people. The more people aboard the more patience is required.
 
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