Joke Thread.. post 'em if you got 'em

You guys suck at jokes, I’ll get us back on track

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So I took a blue pill last night…. It must have got stuck in my throat because I woke up with a stiff neck.


The guy that told me that joke is sitting beside me at a bar right now…. One of the biggest cement guys in the Detroit area…. I said dude that wasn’t really funny. He goes damnit I think it’s hilarious…. I need to find a funnier crowd…. He then told Shelly the bartender the joke and she fake laughed….. he looked at me I said she laughed for tips it wasn’t funny…. He said okay that’s it I need funnier friends :)
 
It's called fixed elections, how do you have more votes for president than you have people in the country. I'm surprised that nobody wakes up to this this country really really needs to wake the hell up
GO TRUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
No…. McD’s has good coffee.
When I was at Toledo Edison, they needed one of their big line trucks hauled by wrecker from Defiance, Ohio to Toledo. The regular driver was on vacation, I had a CDL so I volunteered. When I arrived at Defiance there was a Mcdonalds at the edge of town, so I pulled in I needed a good cup of coffee. On the way out the door I took a drink. It had no resemblance to a Mcdonalds coffee at all. Looking at the counter workers, "This doesn't taste like any Mcdonalds coffee I have had before?" A woman behind the counter looked at me and said I brew my own coffee the customers I serve prefer it.
I looked at her not saying a word and dumped the cup and all in the trash then walked out.
 
The three most important questions a man can ask when on a date in 2023:

#1. Are you a woman?

#2. Have you always been a woman?

If the answer to #1 or #2 is no, then proceed to

#3. Can you keep a secret?
 

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