Help ease a father's mind

[yobub]

Another comment I will make is that my comments and approach were appropriate for my kids. If you have a child with mental health challenges, autism, developmental difficulties, or other unique challenges, you have to do what is right for your child and your situation. Raising kids is hard. Raising kids with unique challenges is uniquely hard. As a parent, you have to navigate your world as best as you can. None of us know what's going on in someone else's kitchen.

 

[Tripsdad]

One of my daughters moved to Austin for graduate school and my wife’s biggest worry was that she wouldn’t come home. She graduated and is an Occupational Therapist still in Austin 3 years later. She says she plans to come back to Long Island at some point but she loves Austin, works hard, has a great group of friends and is independent and happy which is most important. I speak to her a few times a week and she FaceTimes with us which is nice. I moved to So. California when I was 21yo in 1977 with $800 to my name and it was probably the best decision I ever made. I see the same independence in my daughter and it sounds like this will be a good move for your son as well.

 

[just1time]

Damnnn…some of these kids have it nice for reallllllll.

 

[440 Jim]

We all have had different starts I guess. It's good to see independent young folks nowadays with some common sense and motivation.

I was an only, adopted child, raised by my Dad after my mother passed when I was 13mos old. Dad was former marine, FHP, and electrical contractor/business owner. He was a hard worker and set a good example.
But at 16 it got kinda rough, I moved out and lived with a friend and his family through my last year of high school and first bit of college. I worked 40hrs/week in the citrus groves and maintained a full time college schedule. At one time I lived in my 72 chevy van with my dog Zara (chocolate lab) at a local marl pit. Yep.

I did not speak to Dad for five years.

I met my wife when her 80 chevette broke down in Nov 82, we were married in Feb 84 in a small church I helped build as a teenager.
That was our first "start"
Later that year we moved to Ga at 19 and 21 with a 79 AMC Concord, some clothes, a cat, and $100.
That was our second "start"
I had a job (low voltage industry) in 2 days, wife was making her own clothes for interviews. It took her a couple weeks, then we were both employed. Our first apt in Marietta was almost $800/mo. All we had was an "egg crate" mattress on the floor-but we were happy.

Wife got me and Dad back together. At 26 we were sitting on his porch in Suches, Ga and I said "Dad, you were right", he said "right about what?", I said "eveything"...

At 24 I owned my own alarm company and was working 24/7 it seemed. By that time were about 60 miles east of ATL in a more rural setting. We purchased 7 acres and bought a repossesed single wide trialer. I did all the setup myself. Then I sold the biz to get out from under it. Burned out and not much business acumen. Was able to pay off all my creditors, that's about it. Back to zero.
That was our third "start"
We both got into manufacturing after a couple years of construction and office jobs. Then we worked for 8yrs to pay everything off. After that we built our home on the same property. We did most of it ourselves, took us 9 months to finish. At that time we also purchased an adjacent 16 acre tract. Our careers were going good, I was on the "50 week/year travel plan" for most of it. Wife went back to college and got three degrees while working full time and raising our son.
My last gig was very rewarding, I came back to my home county after 25yrs or so and built a 15MM manufacturing facilty, which I then staffed and managed. It felt good to try to better the community and provide a good place to work for them. Especially rewarding was seeing the ex commisioner that told me 30 years ago that they did not want us "white trash" coming to thier county. He was my grading contractor, I have never let him live that comment down. Where's your white trash now buddy, hah! Oh yeah, you work for him...I was manufacturer of the year in 16.
So here were some 35yrs later, made another purchase 3 yrs ago, home next door on 4.5 acres, now a rental.

We were both very independent from the first "start" and still are. We had no help. There were no other options for us but to prevail....or fail.

We also raised our son to be that way, sometimes it is hard.

But we helped him more than we were helped, as we should have.

Back to the tools- we paid for 4yrs of prep school out of state (Hargrave, Chatham Va), first year of college at West Ga, amd second year at Coastal Carolina. He was not into that second year so we stopped paying. He got the messsage, straightened out and finished on his own. We also gave him his first vehicle for HS graduation and I bought my future DIL her first car, told her to pay it forward one day. She did that for her 16yr old half sister, whom they have custody of, last year.

That's about it, he bought his first house at 19, sold and upgraded twice. We did cosign on that one for him, and no issues.

At 32 he is a SVP Eng for a mfg company and owns three other businesses. Yes, I helped him start these up and have a small portion of them for my gamble. He lives in a 6K ft sq home on a golf course that is fully paid for. Brand new vehicles also paid for. He bought a lake house on Oconee two years ago and just purchased 120acres that they will be building on next year. He was debt free until he bought the land.

I was always very conservative because I had no backup. I think our supportiveness of our son gave him more confidence because deep down, he knew we would not let him fail. So he soared.

We just kinda limped along for awhile

So I look back and say damn, that was a bitch. Then I look forward and realize how blessed we actually are.

You're actually very blessed to have a son like that. You will be proud of him.