Joke Thread.. post 'em if you got 'em

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Steve S said:
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An earlier girlfriend's mother would pour hot water into the ice trays, claiming that, since it had farther to go, the temp would change faster, thus freezing quicker. I tried to explain to her that thermal transfer isn't like a boulder rolling down a hill, but she wouldn't hear it. I even went as far as putting two ice trays in the freezer with hot and cold water in them to disprove her theory. 'Wouldn't cave. A sweet lady, but stubborn!
 
Nater Potater said:
An earlier girlfriend's mother would pour hot water into the ice trays, claiming that, since it had farther to go, the temp would change faster, thus freezing quicker. I tried to explain to her that thermal transfer isn't like a boulder rolling down a hill, but she wouldn't hear it. I even went as far as putting two ice trays in the freezer with hot and cold water in them to disprove her theory. 'Wouldn't cave. A sweet lady, but stubborn!
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She was right. :eek:







Not under all conditions but it IS true at times. Also, not necessarily for the reason she gave.
 
TimW said:
She was right. :eek:







Not under all conditions but it IS true at times. Also, not necessarily for the reason she gave.
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I need to understand how that could be. Maybe we should start a separate thread for something like "Old Wive's Tales"
 
One of the most common reasons is the cooler water will have more dissolved gasses which tend to lower the freezing point. Also to a smaller degree the hot water evaporates more and therefore has less volume to freeze.

Also, “COLD” is relative.

Yes if the water starts out at 33F it it definitely gonna freeze first.


A quick “GTS” will find plenty of explanations.
 
I have heard the hot vs cold ice many ways...and it is always busted.

Easy to prove...put money on the "cold" water if you're betting.
 
So, there is a lot of talk about kids identifying as cats or dogs “furries”, and this is hilarious.
1f602.png
. Imagine if you can, that one of my boys told me they thought they were a cat?
Sitting at the supper table son says: “Dad, I think I’m a cat!
Dad: “No son, you’re a boy! “
My son: “No dad some of my friends at school identify as cats, they call themselves furries, and so do I !! It’s my right and you can’t do anything about it!”
Dad:
1f914.png
“OK!! “
My son: “Hey, where’s my supper? “
Dad: “Your supper is in the catfood bowl in the corner. Now get off the table you mangy cat!”
My son: “What???”
Dad: hits him with a broom, “get off the table furball!!”
My son in the corner looking bewildered!
Me to my wife : “Is that cat neutered”??
My wife: “I will make an appointment!! “
My son: “What??? “
1f633.png

Dad: “Your mother and I have decided we don’t want a house cat, so get out to the barn and hunt mice!”
My son: “What???”
Dad: brandishes broom, “NOW, to the barn you stupid cat!!”
My son: “Dad, I think I’m a boy!”
Dad: “I thought so, now sit down and eat your supper!!”
Spay and neuter these animals. Stop them from reproducing. Today’s society has enough fruit loops already.
End of story!
 
JimG said:
So, there is a lot of talk about kids identifying as cats or dogs “furries”, and this is hilarious.
1f602.png
. Imagine if you can, that one of my boys told me they thought they were a cat?
Sitting at the supper table son says: “Dad, I think I’m a cat!
Dad: “No son, you’re a boy! “
My son: “No dad some of my friends at school identify as cats, they call themselves furries, and so do I !! It’s my right and you can’t do anything about it!”
Dad:
1f914.png
“OK!! “
My son: “Hey, where’s my supper? “
Dad: “Your supper is in the catfood bowl in the corner. Now get off the table you mangy cat!”
My son: “What???”
Dad: hits him with a broom, “get off the table furball!!”
My son in the corner looking bewildered!
Me to my wife : “Is that cat neutered”??
My wife: “I will make an appointment!! “
My son: “What??? “
1f633.png

Dad: “Your mother and I have decided we don’t want a house cat, so get out to the barn and hunt mice!”
My son: “What???”
Dad: brandishes broom, “NOW, to the barn you stupid cat!!”
My son: “Dad, I think I’m a boy!”
Dad: “I thought so, now sit down and eat your supper!!”
Spay and neuter these animals. Stop them from reproducing. Today’s society has enough fruit loops already.
End of story!
Click to expand...


One of the biggest problems today. Failing to tell someone , especially kids they are being an idiot when they are being an idiot .
 
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, “Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.”

“I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,” says Grandpa. “How about a demonstration?”

The auditor thinks for a moment and says, “OK. Go ahead.”

Grandpa says, “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.”

The auditor thinks a moment and says, “It’s a bet.”

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.

Grandpa says, “Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.”

The auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

“Want to go double or nothing?” Grandpa asks. “I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.”

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa’s attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

“Are you OK?” the auditor asks.

“Not really,” says the attorney. “This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it.”

Don’t mess with old people!
 
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