Stupid People

Escapade

Escapade

Well-Known Member
SILVER Sponsor
Jan 10, 2007
1,258
Lake Michigan
Boat Info
44 Sundancer
Engines
QSC500
Stupid People-

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart for
Athena the wonder dog and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked
if I had a dog.

What did she think I had -- an elephant?

So since I'm retired, with little to do, and on impulse, I told her that
no, I didn't have a dog, but I was starting the Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time...
but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I woke up in ICU with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry, and that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was, by now,
enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in Intensive Care because the dog food
poisoned me.

I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's behind, and
a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

(Better watch what you ask retired people.
They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.)
 
Don't know who was more stupid....

they guy that ran at full planing speed in front of my boat within 50 feet while I was anchored at Egemont Key or me from being in the process of geting up on the boat when his wake hit.

either way I got hit with the outdrive of my boat in the stomach and now have a big black and blue mark resembling one of the blades of my drive. I'm just happy it didn't split me open on the spot. never though i'd be happy to have dull prop blades.

....oooch...

Escapade....funny but dang it hurts to laugh.....
 
Stupid People-

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart for
Athena the wonder dog and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked
if I had a dog.
Click to expand...

:lol::smt043:lol::smt043:lol::smt043
 
A goast town far from it!... Yes sir I belive some our our best democratic beings were left to profit from those mindless rows of molded plastic bowls, Skotch like sevenyear old runner up award movies, and the twenty five percent off Purina Dog Chow. See it all make perfectly good sence now. When some fine example of hi focused hope to be engineering proport to you that water seems to be endlessly flowing from your Srarboard side. Now you can take in some freash air and say just about anthing at that point. But, you say when the tide doth rise those fountains of flow will be submerged and we will move right along as being propelled by he himself.....Just a reminder when it does stop flowing to put the plug back if ready for the next trip. If they are not your family you have the right to keep them guessing.
 
That is a great story, more so the part of waking up in ICU after being hit by a car. I do have dog so this story would not work for me but we frequently buy bags of dog food and take them to the animal shelter for donation. So you might not have to have a dog to buy dog food.:smt017
 
Escapade said:
.....When some fine example of hi focused hope to be engineering proport to you that water seems to be endlessly flowing from your Srarboard side....... If they are not your family you have the right to keep them guessing.
Click to expand...



English translation:

When some dude runs up to your boat and points to the stream of water coming out of your thru-hull from the air conditioning and tells you that your boat is sinking, don’t tell them it’s from the air conditioning.

Instead, shrug your shoulders and respond “The bilge pump seems to be keeping up with it but please let me know if we start getting lower in the water, then I’ll look into it.” Now sit back down and resume drinking your preferred fermented beverage of choice.
 
Presentation said:
English translation:

When some dude runs up to your boat and points to the stream of water coming out of your thru-hull from the air conditioning and tells you that your boat is sinking, don’t tell them it’s from the air conditioning.

Instead, shrug your shoulders and respond “The bilge pump seems to be keeping up with it but please let me know if we start getting lower in the water, then I’ll look into it.” Now sit back down and resume drinking your preferred fermented beverage of choice.
Click to expand...


Thanks... :smt115
 
Presentation said:
English translation:

When some dude runs up to your boat and points to the stream of water coming out of your thru-hull from the air conditioning and tells you that your boat is sinking, don’t tell them it’s from the air conditioning.

Instead, shrug your shoulders and respond “The bilge pump seems to be keeping up with it but please let me know if we start getting lower in the water, then I’ll look into it.” Now sit back down and resume drinking your preferred fermented beverage of choice.
Click to expand...

Pres, you seem to be fluent in nonesense. Thanks for the translation:thumbsup:. Me? I speak jive:grin:.
 
highslice said:
Pres, you seem to be fluent in nonesense. Thanks for the translation:thumbsup:. Me? I speak jive:grin:.
Click to expand...

First Jive Dude: Sh%$ man, that honky mus' be messin' my old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head. You know?
Second Jive Dude: Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you man.
First Jive Dude: I say hey sky, s'other s'ay I wan say?
Second Jive Dude: UH...
First Jive Dude: Pray to J I get the same ol' same ol'.
Second Jive Dude: Eh. Yo knock yourself a pro slick, gray matter live performas down now take TCB'in man.
First Jive Dude: Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em.
First Jive Dude, Second Jive Dude: Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em
First Jive Dude: Cold got to be. You know? Sh$##@#$t.
 

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Escapade said:
Stupid People-

I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's behind, and
a car hit us both.
Click to expand...

I love this joke, I can never remember how to tell it though. I laugh every time I hear it :smt038:thumbsup::smt043
 
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas with his dummy on his knee. He starts going through his usual dumb blond jokes when a blond woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:

'I've heard enough of your stupid blond jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? Its guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our fullpotential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blonds, but women in general... and all in the name of humour!'

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blond yells, 'You stay out of this mister! I'm talking to that little guy on your lap!'
 
Last edited:
Hey, this is a boating forum. Lets keep it boating related.

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
 
SeaHarley said:
He starts going through his usual dumb blond jokes ...
Click to expand...

A writer for a country music fan magazine reportedly once asked Dolly Parton if she was offneded by blonde jokes. She said, "Why no, honey, because I'm not dumb and I'm not blonde!"
 
billandamy said:
First Jive Dude: Sh%$ man, that honky mus' be messin' my old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head. You know?
Second Jive Dude: Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you man.
First Jive Dude: I say hey sky, s'other s'ay I wan say?
Second Jive Dude: UH...
First Jive Dude: Pray to J I get the same ol' same ol'.
Second Jive Dude: Eh. Yo knock yourself a pro slick, gray matter live performas down now take TCB'in man.
First Jive Dude: Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em.
First Jive Dude, Second Jive Dude: Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em
First Jive Dude: Cold got to be. You know? Sh$##@#$t.
Click to expand...

Bill,
when I posted that I was 100% sure that you would be the first one to catch the reference.:lol:
 
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