Daddubo
New Member
> Understanding Engineers........
>
>
>
> Take One:
>
> Two engineering students crossing the campus whenone said, "Where did
> you get such a great bike?"
>
> The secondengineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
> minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
> She threw the bike to the ground, took off all herclothes and said,
> "Take what you want."
>
> The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Goodchoice; the clothes
> probably wouldn't have fit."
>
> Take Two:
>
> To the optimist, the glass is half full.
>
> To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
>
> To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as itneeds to be.
>
> Take Three:
>
> A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting onemorning for a
> particularly slow group of golfers.
>
> The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? Wemust have been waiting
> for 15 minutes!"
>
> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I'venever seen such
> ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, herecomes the greens keeper.
> Let's have a word with him."
>
> "Hi George! Say, what's with that group aheadof us?
>
> They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greenskeeper replied, "Oh,
> yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. Theylost their sight
> saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we alwayslet them play
> for free anytime."
>
> The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said,"That's so sad. I
> think I will say a special prayer for themtonight." The doctor said,
> "Good idea. And I'm going to contact myophthalmologist buddy and see
> if there's anything he can do for them."
>
> The engineer said, "Why can't these guys playat night?"
>
> Take Four:
>
> What is the difference between Mechanical Engineersand Civil
> Engineers?
>
> Mechanical Engineers build weapons and CivilEngineers build targets.
>
> Take Five:
>
> The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Whydoes it work?"
>
> The graduate with an Engineering degree asks,"How does it work?"
>
> The graduate with an Accounting degree asks,"How much will it cost?"
>
> The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do youwant fries with that?"
>
> Take Six:
>
> Three engineering students were gathered togetherdiscussing the
> possible designers of the human body.
> One said, "It was a mechanical engineer."Just look at all the
> joints." Another said, "No, it was anelectrical engineer.. The
> nervous system has many thousands of electricalconnections."
>
> The last one said, "Actually it was a civilengineer. Who else would
> run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreationalarea?"
>
> Take Seven:
>
> "Normal people believe that if it ain't broke,don't fix it.
>
> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn'thave enough
> features yet"
>
> Take Eight:
>
> An architect, an artist and an engineer werediscussing whether it was
> better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
>
> The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife,building a solid
> foundation for an enduring relationship.
>
> The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress,because the passion
> and mystery he found there.
>
> The engineer said, "I like both."
>
> "Both?"
>
> "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, theywill each assume you
> are spending time with the other woman, and you cango to the lab and
> get some work done."
>
> Take Nine:
>
> An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frogcalled out to him
> and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into abeautiful princess." He
> bent over, picked up the frog and put it in hispocket.
>
> The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kissme and turn me back
> into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you forone week." The
> engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled atit and returned it
> to the pocket.
>
> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me andturn me back into a
> princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING youwant." Again the
> engineer took the frog out, smiled at it
and put it back into his pocket.
>
> Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
> I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and thatI'll stay with you
> for a week and do anything you want. Why won't youkiss me?"
>
> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. Idon't have time for a
> girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that'scool."
>
>
>
> Take One:
>
> Two engineering students crossing the campus whenone said, "Where did
> you get such a great bike?"
>
> The secondengineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
> minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
> She threw the bike to the ground, took off all herclothes and said,
> "Take what you want."
>
> The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Goodchoice; the clothes
> probably wouldn't have fit."
>
> Take Two:
>
> To the optimist, the glass is half full.
>
> To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
>
> To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as itneeds to be.
>
> Take Three:
>
> A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting onemorning for a
> particularly slow group of golfers.
>
> The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? Wemust have been waiting
> for 15 minutes!"
>
> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I'venever seen such
> ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, herecomes the greens keeper.
> Let's have a word with him."
>
> "Hi George! Say, what's with that group aheadof us?
>
> They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greenskeeper replied, "Oh,
> yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. Theylost their sight
> saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we alwayslet them play
> for free anytime."
>
> The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said,"That's so sad. I
> think I will say a special prayer for themtonight." The doctor said,
> "Good idea. And I'm going to contact myophthalmologist buddy and see
> if there's anything he can do for them."
>
> The engineer said, "Why can't these guys playat night?"
>
> Take Four:
>
> What is the difference between Mechanical Engineersand Civil
> Engineers?
>
> Mechanical Engineers build weapons and CivilEngineers build targets.
>
> Take Five:
>
> The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Whydoes it work?"
>
> The graduate with an Engineering degree asks,"How does it work?"
>
> The graduate with an Accounting degree asks,"How much will it cost?"
>
> The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do youwant fries with that?"
>
> Take Six:
>
> Three engineering students were gathered togetherdiscussing the
> possible designers of the human body.
> One said, "It was a mechanical engineer."Just look at all the
> joints." Another said, "No, it was anelectrical engineer.. The
> nervous system has many thousands of electricalconnections."
>
> The last one said, "Actually it was a civilengineer. Who else would
> run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreationalarea?"
>
> Take Seven:
>
> "Normal people believe that if it ain't broke,don't fix it.
>
> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn'thave enough
> features yet"
>
> Take Eight:
>
> An architect, an artist and an engineer werediscussing whether it was
> better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
>
> The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife,building a solid
> foundation for an enduring relationship.
>
> The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress,because the passion
> and mystery he found there.
>
> The engineer said, "I like both."
>
> "Both?"
>
> "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, theywill each assume you
> are spending time with the other woman, and you cango to the lab and
> get some work done."
>
> Take Nine:
>
> An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frogcalled out to him
> and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into abeautiful princess." He
> bent over, picked up the frog and put it in hispocket.
>
> The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kissme and turn me back
> into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you forone week." The
> engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled atit and returned it
> to the pocket.
>
> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me andturn me back into a
> princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING youwant." Again the
> engineer took the frog out, smiled at it
and put it back into his pocket.
>
> Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
> I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and thatI'll stay with you
> for a week and do anything you want. Why won't youkiss me?"
>
> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. Idon't have time for a
> girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that'scool."